Hi. First off, I'm not a Nutritionist or R.D. so this advice is purely from experience and my own research.
I can't comment on the timing of your evening meal, because I really don't know the answer.
However, I firmly believe that you should spread out your meals and snacks as evenly as possible. Don't let your body get "hungry", or think that there's no food coming for a long time. When your body thinks there's a famine, it will hold onto the fat stores as long as it can. If food is provided regularly, even in small quantities, your body gets used to the routine, and knows that some nutrition will be coming soon, so there's no need to hoard the fat cells. So, definitely have something for breakfast, within no more than one hour after you wake up.
As far as calories in vs. calories out, this used to be the rule. If you burn more than what you take in, you will lose weight. HOWEVER, this rule seems to NOT hold true if you are consuming processed food, starchy food, and/or sugar. When you consume sugar (even in natural states such as fruit), you trigger your body to convert the sugar to fat, even if your total calorie intake is relatively low. Sugar also changes your body's metabolism, so you're not burning as many calories per day. So, it's not just calorie count, it really matters WHAT you eat. CUT OUT THE SUGAR!
Watch the video called "Fed Up", narrated by Katie Couric. It helps explain why people can't lose weight, even if they think they are changing their eating habits or eating "low fat" foods. If there is sugar in the food, you will likely gain weight, or at least not lose any fat. Also remember that carbohydrate=sugar.
I was eating 1/3 of the portions of my husband, but I was still unable to lose weight. Not until I started juicing, and eating healthy natural food, was I able to get rid of the weight. I'm still losing. I avoid all food that has added sugar. I limit my fruit and starchy veggies. I avoid all wheat products, and limit starches and grains. Avoid milk and dairy. I eat lots of low-glycemic veggies, meats and fish in their natural state. I drink at least 2 litres of water per day, usually more. I get lots of exercise, and push myself each day to do a bit more than the day before. It has to be a life-long change, not just a short-term "diet". Hard work, yes, but it's paying off.